todayy is off day !
woke up early , help grandma prepare ingredient for dumpling *yumyum* , breakfast with shan @ grandma house ..
after that head off to bugis .. shop around ..
spend so much $$ todayy :( ~
bought shirts & a hat .. that hat cost like $45 -.-'' and like quite ex cos not branded ?vwadever it is , i'll need to collect it on sunday .. hopefully it's nice ..
went over to chen house .. sleep .. freaking tired ..
31st will be my last day working @ tangs .. the saddest part is yusita is nt working on that dayy .. gonna bid goodbye to all my seniors .. will miss them darn hell loads .. especially yusita :( ~ 4th jan , skul reopen .. gotta switch back my mood and alot thingy ..

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how am i suppose to tell you ?
who e hell can accept it ?
it's fact .. i didnt want it to be this way either ..
i thought you will understand ..
everything you said is still running to and fro my fcuking brain ..
imissyou .. iloveyou .. yes YOU !

Labels: silence ..

feel weird ? sad ? stupid ?
what's e reason ?
izzit because the one that know how i feel is nt my friend ?
or izzit because my friend dont know how i feel ?
i know many people can't accept ..
i thought i can share with someone ..
but the fact is ...
i can share with no one ..



-all alone-

talk / give comment = i wrong
dont talk / no comment = i wrong
bother , care and put feeling = i wrong
dont bother , dont care , dont put feeling anymore = i wrong
angry = i wrong
DONT ANGRY ALSO WRONG !? o.o''
i m losing myself among you all .. everything i do dont seem right ..
what's wrong with really dont feel like talking ?
really nothing happen .. i not emo-ing .. i just dont want to give comment or anything
i just want to be myself .. human all will change , so will i ..
i dont get angry now le , i smile i let you all make decision , i no comment no anything
you all say i dont bother .. do nothing .. you all rather i angry i talk i give all comment .. this wasnt wad you guys said earlier on .. isn't it ? i noe ONE of you will see this post .. den i'm telling YOU , i'm changing ..
i just wanna see what will happen next , because i know god had it all written in his "book" ..
i'll not be like before , when i talk and laugh and get angry bout things that i m unsatisfied with ..
i just want to be a little bit more alone ..
it's a good thing ..
i've already learnt to accept thing as it is .. regardless good or bad ..
please understand ..
* god bless everyone around me *







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wanna find an excuse to text you girl ..
but ...... this very weird feeling i have ..

frankly , all along , i know what is going on in my life ..
i am only smiling comforting myself that everything will be alright ..
i managed to change my thinking towards my surrounding ..
i understand that , many things are beyond my control ..
god long ago written it in his " book of life " ..
so far , i got to say , i m doing well ..
being able to control my emotion ..
but i realise , is only for a time being ..
because as i start to not talk about anything and treating it as nothing and dont want to mention"
i start to bottle things up .. the more i keep , i realise i dun feel like talking .
i dont want to speak to anyone .. because i m keeping too much inside and i m afriad of "humans" seriously ..
no one is true .. no one is real .. everyone is putting a mask infront of each other ..
even if u treat another person well , they will not appreciate it .. even if u realli love the other person , they will not know it ..
something very funny .. when u really love a person and care for a person , it will always be taken for granted .. you dont cherish the care and love that people give you .. but u complain about the love and care that another person did not give you ..
den think back , izzit fair to the person that really love and care for you ?
you never know , that person only want you to smile , to be happy , but u are upset bout who who who doesnt care and love you .. but the one that really care and love you is listening to you .. sitting right infront of you ..
which part these ppl dun understand sial ?
i understand that if you give doesnt mean you got to get something back , but frankly , question yourself ..
when u treat some one u love very well , u expected something back right ? that's the smile of theirs and hope that they will happy .. but when they are not at all .. you will also never will be ..
*giddy* .. i really need to go back to the days when i isolate myself from everyone ? if that is the best way , i will .. sick and tired ..

hellO !!
okayy first , i pass-ed and am able to go to sec5 .. scored 9 points for 5 sub and 12 for 6 sub ..
next year is going to be a really difficult for all of us ..
reflecting back , when i'm in sec1 and sec2 , i always get into trouble
quarrelling with teachers and leaving the classroom as and when i like .
skip school this and that ..
i m so lucky that my teachers didnt give up on me , and they did not leave me alone when i need them most ..
very thankful to my form teacher miss chong .. she was the reason why i started studying ..
i remember when she stay in school till real late to coach me/us ..
a million thanks to her ..
i'll promise to work harder next year ..
just got home .. will be working tmr .. maybe she will be bringing me to work ..
hopefully then .. <3 ..

tmr is result le .. is like so FAST !? haish .. needa leave tangs soon .. as i know even if i dun make it up to sec5 i m still going to continue my education .. will anyone miss me anots ? *hello*? *echo back* .. forget it .. im always alone .. coming to and fro all alone .. ((:~
but i'll MISS yusita MOST ! todayy although didnt do much sales .. but was very happy ^^ ! *chie chie chie chikacheng chikacheng* because i doing stock w alan and yusita .. and went around collecting puppies to do balloons .. and burst some balloons accidently =x .. made yusita scream like saw ghost ^^ .. den after work , yusita hubby waited for her .. den she also send me home .. tgt .. yusita rocks ! love her most ! ((: ~ i promise you 1st one receive my text tmr when i get result ((: ~ good or bad i'll inform you kay mam .. <33 ..



xmas is like so near yet so far , so far yet so near ..
if my last day of working is 24th , 25th i confirm ready emo whole day ..
locking myself up .. wait till 'recover' den see how ..