okayy .. get this clear , i am not as stupid as you all thought la .
i mean , hey , i know alot of things lo . alot people come tell me this and that .. is only i want blow the matter up / gossip bout it or not only .. aiyo , dont think i stupid stupid cann ?? goshh .. hahaks .. k la uhhx . nthh blog bout shall blog tmr ..



not e first , but you'll be e last ..
iLOVEyou .

hi all ~ after resting 2 days @ home .. went back school today ..
saw my bitch-es .. dam happy .. yippee ! :D but i nt hyper today ,
cos my back dam pain :( ..
today i block off alot people text and call for a few hour ..
i am sorry .. but just mood off abit .. hmmps ..
Mix emotion ! i thought i dont miss u tat muchh alr . i thought i dont love u that much alr .. but the fact is .. all is i "thought" onli .. zzz i thought you thought who confirm sial .. i saw ur text , telling me those thing , and was thinking ..
you dont need to send me that text actually .. you never give me any promise from the start till now .. u made it very clear that you are very happy with ur love and all , u also made it clear you want me forget you .. is that i just cannot let go yet .. but god knows i m trying .. really trying .. getting my life organize .. study will be 1st priority .. My O's really drawing nearer .. and i promise you i'll study hard .. and do well .. but by that time maybe cant be on the phone so often with you .. cannot hear you share all your happy things with me .. cannot hear your voice .. complaining and nagging nagging like granny .. promise me you will study hard also okay ? go to a good class and graduate with your love .. (: , you are my friend . and i realli hope if really we not contacting that much and drift you wont forget me .. after Os i hope we'll get back in contact and hang out those .. promise nothing will change okayy ? *hook finger* .. loveyou ..



i know you are listening to my prayers .. thank you for giving me everything that i have now .. thank you for sending me angels in my life now .. final year in school and i met nice ppl like them .. the girls really are great .. i love being able to spend time with them .. people who i treasure knowing ; swapna , yamuna , salimah , soniaah and all .. we might nt be really very close fwen , but please do know .. i do treasure knowing u babes .. and of cos not to forget ; naandhini , saras , sabrina , afifah , sheena .. there might be argument here and there but i hope everything will be alright soon ok darlings ? and BFF , baby , shan and chen ; 8 years fwenship , got quarrel till very jia lat de time got very happy de time .. go overseas together also have . i will keep all this in mind .. loveyou all ..

aww .. today didnt go school , was sick ..
afternoon after see doc met shan and chen went makan ..
whenever you feel sad i very helpless .. i want u to smile ..
to be happy always .
though im trying to stop everything now [the feeling is fading off faster than i thought ], but still , doesnt mean i dont care you at all mahh .. stay happy la kayy .. okayy ? <3 (~(OO)~) !
hey saw this quote from FB one of dem in my fwen list post it up .. wanna share with u guys .. quite interesting ..
here it goes :
Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit...

TRUE right !? hahak .. funny muchh .. ok la bb i gtg ..
i love sheena , saras , afifah , sabrina , nandhu , yamuna , soniaah and my BABYTAN ! ^^ wee ~ shan and chen also little bit ^^ hahahahahhahahahha !

hellO ! sobx .. i am sick ! not going school tmr la :( !
lets talk about yesterday.. HYPER whole day ! ((: !
very happening yesterday .. very funny .. ok la .
take back result fail also i laughing .. cos i expected .. -.-
only left mother tongue haven take back .. i only expecting to pass language sub ..
cos that one dunnid study one . hehe !
my babytan keep think think anyhow .. you better dont ahh ..
arbo i smack you ! *i wont bear to la * ..
start listening in class already ^^V .. am happy got progress .
everything is fine now .. it's better than i expected ..
you really didnt "come" to my mind that often this few days ..
am focusing much on other thing / people .. it's good ..
am loving everything now .. dont know how long it'll last but .. bless me ^^
byebye~

hellO ! (: ~ okayy .. tmr skul gonna reopen .. cann see my bitch-es .. miss dem soooooo much .. saras , sabrina , afifah , sheena , renu , naandhini & not forgetting soniaah ! ((: ~ wee .. am happy .. this term gotta get things in shape .. start studying .. gotta keep my promise .. ^^
yesterday , clubbing with babyRUL , babyYi , babyTING , her bf , baby , ah ting and ping .. had fun ^^ although very warm .. everyone sweating like duno wad .. but still .. i had fun .. thanks to my darling[s] ((: ~ LETS GO AGAIN ! OKAYY !? hahaks .. <3

am at 22O now .. drinking with them .. shan cmi alr .. she faint alr . lOL ..
okayy .. i am nt drunk .. just getting emotional ..
i dont like it when people hurt e one i love .. be it hurt in the past or now .. i just dont like it !!
shan is sleeping beside me now .. i m bored ..
holiday gonna end .. shud be happy or sad ? happy cos can see dem .. sad , need start studying .. fuck right .. lOL ! zz .
okayy la lazy alr .. bye ..
bby , imy ..

trying to forget some one you love is like trying to remember some one you dont know ..

Labels: iLOVEyou

proper update when i come back ! briefly c0ck abit 1st ahh ..
today :
meeting my magicbytch naandhini later .. miss her fcuking l0ads ..
night meeting shan .. go drink , drank drunk .. byee ~

yesterday night will be e last time i cry because of you ..
i'm stopping .. as mentioned in my previous post ..
i said before alr .. as long as u say it i will do it ..
no matter how pain/ difficult it is .. i will ..
as long as you happy .. can alr ..
you asked me why i can tahan . why this why that ..
there's only one answer .. because i love you ..
just rmb , no matter what happen .. i'll always be here ..
if you are bored , i'll give u a call immediately ..
if you are sad , i'll always lend you my ear/shoulder ..
i dont know how long it will take me to stop , to let go ..
but like i said , i going force myself to .. and things will be e way u want it to be real soon ..
even till e day that my love for you no longer is this BGR love .
i still love you as my fwen ..
and remember , i once loved you this much and wanna give u the best i could ..
i once wanna treasure you and walk through with you ..





stopping now .................. :')

imissyou :(
kayy , you dont feel e same ..
i know .. s0bx .. what ya doing ? it's already 1:19am . sleeping ?
you're still in my mind .. keep running inside my brain ! u not tired ahh !?
GO AWAY LA ! -.-'' okayy i'm lame ..
i really miss you alot lo :(
you never ever know la ! :(
just when will you realise seriously ..





a song sang by 5566 - boyfriend .. [ lyrics is nice ]
i'm sorry for me bugging you ,
sorry for being such a fool .
god's know's i;ve tried but i cant let go ,
i crazy bout you know who ..
i'm sorry for me needing you ,
sorry girl that you dont feel it too ,
i've got the point should be a man about ,
i've never been good at that .. ohh no ..
forgive me , for being me ..
i've tried to let go ..
i know you've got a boyfriend ..
another man ..
another guy by your side some one who hopefully treats you right ..
but you dont know how much i wish that i was your boyfriend ..
that other guy .. the only one whose allowed in your room to lay in your arms at night
now you dont know how much i wish i was you boyfriend ..
i'm sorry for me wanting you ..
sorry for not playing by the rules ..
but what would you do if you were in my shoes ..
feeling lost and blue .. mmm ..
i'm sorry for me loving you ..
sorry for being sucha fool ..
god's know's i;ve tried but i cant let go ,
i crazy bout you know who ..
forgive me , for being me .. i've tried to let go ..
[ continued]

a post for you :
it's 1:20am now .. you must be asleep i guess .. or are u on e phone with your love ?
imissyou alot .. you know ? though i am not in singapore now , but whatever i do here ,
you are constantly in my mind .. when i see something very funny , i thought " it'll be great if u're here .. i wanna you to see this " ..
when i see something very nice i thought " i'll get this for you *hesitate* , who the fuck i think i am ? "
bby , i dont know if life will be better or worse with you .. but i know life certainly sucks without you .. cause that's what i am going through now ..
i wonder if by now you've seen your importance to me .. loving you is all that i can do .. i am already losing myself .. i cant see myself anymore .. everything is only about you now .. i really love you alot .. alot alot .. more than you could ever think of .. i understand the fact that you gave no promise .. i understand the fact that someone else is your priority .. i understand the fact that your heart belongs to some one else .. so what ? does that mean that you cannot be my priority ? does that mean that i cannot keep you in my heart ? i really dont know .. if what you want is me to let go , is me to stop loving you , to not get into your life anymore , to go away ... i will .. no matter how pain / how difficult it is i will .. because i love you .. so long you say it , i will do it ..
like anyone else , i dont care if there's no future .. i dont care even if it's gonna end one day .. i just need you .. to be here ..
i just wanna love you right .. perhaps someone else is doing a great job now ..
a song i've been listening recently it all about , if you wanna love some one right , and there's another person who is already doing it .. leave ..
and i guess , it's sending a message to me ? nothing funny about .. i cried again and again .. and i always tell myself , " ok , this is gonna be e last time " but it never ever was .. i dont know how to tell you , i dont know how to express it , i dont know what else i can do .. besides smiling and pretending it isnt hurting me .. just one request ; stay here , dont go .. even if i am not your priority , dont make me your last option either .. will you ?
nothing's gonna change this fact that , you are my priority ; now and till the day i find another some one who can replace .. iloveyou bby .. now and always ..
i wanna this song to question you ; would you be there ?

goodbye 16 ~ birthday means new start ?
birthday should be happy isn't it ? yet here .. i feel like crying ..
listening to that song make me wanna cry ..
not showing my love for you doesnt mean i dont love you enough ..
is that at times i know , i am of no one to do so ..
i've got so many things keeping inside ..
bby , i need you to know :( !
forget it .. shall stop here .. really dont wanna cry today ..

hellO all ! am at genting now .. let's "rewind" ! back to yesterday ! (:
celebrated my birthday in advance @ granny's place ..
thankyou darling[s] for turning up ! love you guys to e max !
i gotta say , cake + water bomb + cream = fcuking smelly !
and make up seriously SUCKS ! ohmygod .. seriously ,
i dont even look like a human after that !
but still , renu !! u got touched a not ? i sing song for you , from ground floor to 6th storey ..
"nothing's gonna change my love for you" lOL ! went around chasing those IDIOTS ! and them run like DOG ! hahahahhahahahhahah ! babyrul .. sorry ahh .. ur phone ! lOL ! lovethem to e max ! ((: ~ fahh , though u missed e fun .. but i know ur heart here with us .. i love you ! ((: !
after everything , 10+pm went to kithana haus .. cut cake again .. cos celebrating her bday .. her mummy cooking is *thumb up* ((: ~ overall i had fun .. thankyou all sayang[s] again ..
not forgetting shan and chen came early help me .. qq them also .. ty ty alot ((: ~




sadded :( ! i miss that irritating idiot ! it's bloody hell not fun here :( !! i hope mummy will say " let's go home earlier since we've got nothing to do here " ! :( ... i swear it's killing me !! GRRR ..
imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou !! haish ..





- i just wanna be your ................ clown -

just got back home .. went to meet crystal .. after that bing them came (: ~ slacked at 208 ..
cock around with them .. laughing dam hard cos me and zeng hui thought of something ! very bad but dam funny ! seriously .. lOL ! den go mac company bing makan .. ii drew something for crystal .. she draw for me also .. but pls la , she draw one FUGLY lo .. i draw one so nice .. she no talent :) .. whatever it is , it's fun .. ((: ~ heard that fah met an accident .. i hope she's fine .. i love you bitch ..

-------
SLG :
imiss you alot .. you never once were out of my mind .. even when i am with them just now ..
today is a long day for me .. and seriously ! it was .. :(
i dont know la ! i want you here .. you presence is very important to me .. really :'(
shouldnt get so reliant ! GRR .. :(

Congrates to baby ! she is attached ! baby last long with her uhhs ~ remember .. if she bully you , we hoot her okayy ? remember whatever it is , you have us ! we support you always .. people that leave you just because of this , they are not true friends .. let them go ..
went meet baby , shan , 2 of shan classmate , and chen ..
play awhile .. use com .. talk crap ..
baby keep saying i piss off recently .. how true is it ? i dont feel so ..
maybe a little bit more sensitive towards that topic , but overall i think quite okayy one lo ..
issit she ownself think too much ? -.-'' u got girlfwen jiu forgot me de hua , i going hoot u for sure !
---------------------------------------------
i miss that SLG ! :(
imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou !!! i know i am stupid .. like baby said .. haishh .. i duno la ! i wanna you to walk my life through with me ! yet at the same time , i wanna you to GO AWAY ! ARGH ! everything is like getting on my nerves !! GRR ... okayy .. whatever ! i m leaving genting on sunday .. who will miss me ? (: ~ okayy definitely not you .. but i know some one out there ! hahaks ! okay la .. i m lame .. just trying make myself feel better .. bye all ~

i m not in a very good mood now .. :(
and there's only one reason ! i mean , 1 week ago ...
i didnt expect that much from you .. you gave me no promises .. nothing ..
i know that .. so i thought no promises = no pain ! but i fcuking wrong !
i thought i miss-ed you lesser .. but soon realise , was only what i say to comfort myself ..
now .. this feeling is something that i cannot hide anymore .. everything just revolves around you .. i questioned myself .. what's in you that got me so attracted to .. and i really dont know ..
soon i realise .. i dont need to know .. because there's no need a reason to love you ..
Let Go , Forget about it ... you might say ... they might say ..
seriously , every one of you went through this .. think a little for me ! its not computer data that i can install and delete as and when i like ! i know you all concern and dont wanna me get so affected .. i appreciate it [ esp baby ] but i realli need time .. but at e rate i'm going .. it's almost impossible ! GRR ..
ii asked baby that day : " if i say i'll really treasure , if i say i'll really give in everything .. you believe ? " ...
baby know me well enough .. the previous one (G) took me fcuking 2 years + to forget even when we're not in contact ..
i very pissed off now ! seriously .. falling in love with some one i shouldnt is not a fcuking choice or thing that i can control ! i cant do anything about it ! i dont know what else to do .. i'm so into this shit now ! i shouldnt even start/have the first conversation ! now i cant stop ......... and it's going on ........ and on ......... and on ..........


iLOVEyou SLG ..

slept @ 6am .. writing literature notes for a schoolmate (: bout off centre .. went over with shan to woodlands , to meet baby ... until 3am .. talking bout everything .. everything ..... sometimes even when you know no outcome you just kept falling into it .. baby say herself like hongster , morning to eve with another person and evening to midnight with me .. hahaks ! i dont mind so long u are here with me .. iLOVEyou baby .. lOL ! dun too touch horh .. scared u cry ..

baby , make the right decision , the last thing i want is you to become like last time , hurting yourself over everything .. if u think she will love u right .. if u think she will sayang you , den go for it .. even no outcome , no future .. we always here suporting you .. BUT rmb dun fall in the 1st category of ppl i HATE .. i dunwan lose a fwen like you .. take your time make the right decision okayy ? jiayou ~~


idiot only have 5 letter , but u are a 7 letter idiot !

am i pretending or m i really not sad .. ( those who know what happen might be thinking )
frankly , i dont know .. but i m just nt crying .. not to the extent that i will breakdown and cry ..
i thought i would .. seriously .. cause i m so madly into it .. but i realise .. i really dont know how to cry for this situation sial .. lOL !? last year that ONE year plus one .. one fking small thing i cry like dog ! i think there's a difference .. afterall it's onli a month .. but anyway , still fwen now .. so it's okayy .. i m really fine .. when i feel like crying i will .. and i know u all will be there ((: !!


TO AFIFAH :
stop flirting with sheena ! she is my WIFE ! you go and find your own wife/hubby/switheart ! i got sheena first .. dont think my ring break u can steal her away ! i going buy one new one ! dont fcuking come and disturb and try to break our relationship !! :@ !!


ILOVE SHEENA SABRINA TO THE MAXXX ... WIFEYY ~~ <33
you are e reason for every breathe i take baby .. iloveyou ! lOL !