Monday, August 31, 2009
TEACHER'S DAY ! everything was great and i hope our teacher enjoy-ed it ..
i'm really gonna miss you all .. :(
to me , my teachers are angels . i love them ALOT ..
i've got so so so many things to tell them ..
TO:
our teachers :
thank you for your care and patience .. you all bright up my life and guided me to the right path .. i'm really gonna miss u all .. realli realli .. words cant express how thankful i am .. without you all i m nothing ..
the one i love and respect most :
you are the most important person in my life . ( now at least ) i am really sorry if i disappoint / upset you in one way or another .. pls do understand that i really didnt meant it... really really didnt.. you were the reason why i decided to work hard and change .. of cos , it's for my own good .. but i feel that i owe it to u .. u nv once asked for anything in return besides our well doing .. u are an angel that exist in my life .. you are the star that bright up my darkest night .. to you , i might be just someone that fill up your "student list" among all the hundreds / thousands.. but to me , u are some one that changed my life .. i'm really gonna miss u alot alot .. u brought joy to my life and changed all the wrongs to rights ..
iLOVEyou . thank you so so muchh .. <33
-ii cried while posting .. i really miss u all alot .. i dunwanna accept the fact that i'll graduate sooner or later .. i wanna u all here .. :( -
Saturday, August 29, 2009
yo? kayy got back all my paper .. pass-ed everything .. but did badly =(
esp for literature .. so disappointed .. in myself .. perhaps i didnt study hard enough bahhs ? anyways , ytd after skul get settled wih monday's stuff den head home , prepare go meet THEM ( serene , zhi bing , wendy , liping , ester , andy , darren , ben lim , wu hao and MR LEE ) went suki eat ` den suprise him .. bought a cake and celebrate advance teacher's ya for him .. enjoyed ourselves .. den after that go slack slack .. buss-ed back yishun go safra play pool .. den go north point slack 12++am go home .. ((: `
- wad's ur expression meant to be ? haish -
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i wanna so muchh to ask u ..
izzit i think too muchh ? or ..... haix
why izzit so ?
我曾经说过的一字一句都是心里话。
回头看看我好吗？
我真的.....*speechless*
Labels: 能不能让时间回到那一天？
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
didnt go to school today .. not in a right state ..
i m really tired .. what else can i say or do ? conscience clear ..
- give up on everything -
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
seriously , it's ridiculous .. why do i even have to do suchh thing .. it's so .... urgg ..
let's see ..
1st : i checked paper with one classmate
2nd : didnt know anything
3rd : i got blamed for something that i BLOODY didnt even do ..
and in additional wad's best , i became some one selfish .. not understanding and one that dont know anything bout fwenship .. it makes me frustrated and at the same time i want laugh sial .. everyone got friendship leyy .. everyone got same problem .. everyone felt it before .. how can u all just happily assume ? u all NOT me leyy .. its so bloody unfair .. if u all think i dont understand u all , den u think u understand how i feel ? being bloody malign and blamed for something that i didnt do ? if you all have thought for me before u all say me den TELL ME .. i will say it's my fault but if never .. den i guess no one have e right to say anything ..
if communicating = stealing .. then fine .. i'll stop communicating with them once everything *31/8* is done .. happy ? give me another week and we wont communicate anymore .. so wad if its the last few month ? i m nt part of u all wad .. i m just some one that "SNATCH" .. 31/8 will be counted as my "last" day in class.. from den on i noe no one ..
you all dont know .. they dont know .. then forget it la .. now " MY LOVE" = NOTHING ! dunwanna give a dam !
[wru?haish..]yes it's you ..
Labels: cold shoulder
Monday, August 24, 2009
emotinal roller coaster ..
`if you were me , you will understand how i feel ..
some one that took care of me 16 FUCKING YEARS ! I DUN TRUST ! I CANT SHARE THINGS WITH THIS PERSON .. I CANT FEEL SAFE WITH THIS PERSON ..
you know how useless i felt ? you know how i feel ? i let this person down .. the love and care i didnt feel anything .. no trust , no security .. no anything .. 16 FUCKING YEARS ! DAMMIT !
but for some one that i know for 3-4 yrs , i trusted her .. when i upset , when i feel unsafe , the 1st one i think of is her .. when she is around i feel safe .. and best part , no blood relation no anything ... wads wrong with me .. its a feeling i cant explain .. its just lyk , " how come u fall in love with him/her" ? no explanation and frustrating ..
i know i gotta learn one day .. the one is going to be there for me the next 16 yrs will not be HER .. it will be my family .. i gotta learn to trust them and love them .. i gotta really try .. 1st time .. i'm trying .. 16 yrs .. i dunno how long it'll take , but i will try ..
but before that will still be ........
Labels: 本来不觉得你特别疼我，直到你不在疼我以后...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
today is a happppyyyyyyy dayyyyyyyy ......... lalala ~ lalala ~ ... edit ltr when i get home .. `
edit-ed :
today did nthh muchh .. so fast tmr monday le .. means SCHOOL DAY ! <33
school = best place ever ..
have been planning *secret* with my babes .. hope everything turns out well ..
GAMBATEH !
Labels: happy :)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
我还能说什么？
你还记得你说过的吗？
曾经，爱了..笑了..伤了..痛了
如今，哭了..累了..心也死了..
心病没的医...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
prelim ended .. today go buy something w sari , raudhi and nandu .
gotta get ours hand on soon yea .. woot ((:
after that went back skul give thing .. i like it when they smile ^^
they are angels in my life .. i love them and i thank them for everything ..
but ......... hais ... duno how say .. i just wanna things to go well u see .. though i know that life dun always come like how we want it to be ..
i shud've ..........
ahhhhh la ! pekcek la . bye ..
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
- silence -
shags .
Labels: distance
Friday, August 14, 2009
其实老师真的很伟大...
i m really lucky ..
studying in north view , being able to know all my schoolmates / classmates and most importantly my TEACHERS !
i love them alot .. sometimes i wanna tell them how important they are to me ..
[ 4a3 , teachers and many many people ]
i want tell them i love them alot . i want to tell them that i want them to see me through my pain and laughter with me . i want to tell them i am sorry for everything i did that disappoint them or upset them .[ esp my teachers ]
ya i know .. i am just a lame , irritating , annoying kid .. but i've never ever meant to let you all down ..
如果要痛过才能拥有你们，我愿在痛多几年只要有你们。
words cant express how i feel ..
i...... haish ..
you guys are people that i'll keep in my heart for as long as i can ..
esp [ 4a3 , mrs hee , mdm lung and most importantly ... ms d.chong ]
iLOVEyou all `
Thursday, August 13, 2009
我不会让自己在陷入谷地。
虽然在此时此刻我的家对我来说什么都不是
但十年后的今天我是否回更珍惜家呢？
我唯一知道的是我很爱我的学校。
我很爱我的老师。
但在不久的将来我会毕业
会离开校园
到时候我可能就会明白家的重要了。
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
mistakes ... everyone make mistakes is it true that mistakes are what makes us perfect ? issit true that we learn from our mistakes and we will be able to stand up again ? issit true that people will forgive and forget ? huhh ?
i... m naive .. *sob*
i dunwanna lost my way again .. i .... i ..... haish .. speechless ..
smile means happy ? FK LA WHO IS THERE TO ANSWER ALL THIS BLOODY QUESTIONS THAT IS HAUNTING ME .. HUHH ? YOU ? YOU ? OR YOUU ?
- so dark -
Monday, August 10, 2009
there's so so many thing i wanna say .. and its all kept inside my heart .. i dont dare to share .. i dunwan ppl to judge me .. i dunwan them to know the weakest side of me .. sometime i dun understand myself .. i am very scared .. scared of wad i also duno .. i just dunwan people to come to close to me .. [ not physically ] but just not too close to the most truthful side of me ..
some one i know once asked me " who is e person you trust most ? " . " wad he/she did ? how come you trust he/she most ? " . " he/she not here oredi who is the 2nd person ? "
den i was like reflecting .. den i realise .. dammit .. i onli got 1 person i trust . i was like trying dam hard to 'dig' another person out from in my mind that i can realli put the word "TRUST" on his/her name de den i realise really dun have le .
den if that person realli not here oredi how ? [ and i know the days drawing really near ] haiya very vex la .. i always thinking bout thing that haven happen .. cos i wanna prepare in advance .. in case suddenly happen i cannot take it .. but thinking realli make my head grow double sial .. %$&%$*@$%^@$ wadeva ..
i needa concentrate on my studies .. i score well .. my parent happy , my teacher happy , i will also happy ..
Saturday, August 8, 2009
过于依赖是一种伤害...
*insertname* told me : i realise u quite a loner . u "thought" u have alot of "friend" but actually the fact is .. " you only know alot of ppl , but they are not friend " ..
i was lyk reflecting .. den i realise .. ya .. i only know alot of people .. but i dont have many fwen .. what is definition of fwen to you den ?
1. the person trust you , you trust that person too .. you all will think of each other when u need help or feeling down .. will help each other no matter wad ..
[both side]
2. you trust that person . you will think of that person when u feeling down or need help , and will help him/her no matter wad .. if u have the ability to .. * only ur own thinking* [one side]
3 . that person trust you .. that person will think of you when he/she feeling down or need help and he/she will oso help you if he/she have the ability to no matter wad .. * only that person own thinking * [one side]
. if that three is 3 different definition for me to say that some one is my fwen .. den i belong to group 2 . cos deep down inside i only have one "fwen" .
Labels: dont put all your eggs in one basket
Friday, August 7, 2009
就让我留在崩溃的边缘等一道光线。
i rmb that song , becus of this sentence .
Labels: 退缩....对不起
Thursday, August 6, 2009
feeling of guilt and remorse engulfed me . what is done , is done . i cannot change the fact anymore .. but i really cant let it go .. haix ..
内疚，无奈和无助已吞没了我的心灵。
事实是无法改变的。虽然事情已经过了。
但是......我真不知该说什么好。
我爱他人总比爱自己多，但是不能照顾自己又怎么帮别人让他们开心呢？
我曾经的好友已不在我身旁，现在我又让我最敬爱的人失望和生气，我也让许多人担心，我怎么会搞得如此狼狈？我真不知道。
可能我做的事，我最敬爱的她或许已经原谅我？或许她明白？或许她不放在心上？这些我永远都不会知道，不过我会静静的祈祷....静静的.....
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
seriously , today is the suckiest day . [ 16 yrs ] . dunwan elaborate too muchh .
how would you feel if u disappoint some one u love and respect alot ? how will you feel or what will you do ? do you still have e courage to face that person ? maybe you all dont mind . but i mind alot . and i m lost now ..
mdm lung :
对不起今天我又麻烦你了。每次哭都去你的办公室躲着真不好意思打搅你。你说的都很有道理，但是我无法不责怪自己。我让我最敬爱的老师失望了。你知道我心里有多内疚，有多无助吗？我很真不知该如何是好。
不管怎样，今天谢谢你了。
ms chong <3 :
除了对不起我真不知道我还能说什么，你教了我很多也帮了我不少。对于今天发生的事我心里真的有千千万万个对不起要对你说。我令你失望了。对不起。你是我最信任的老师。
以后如果我有什么不开心的我真不知道该去哪里找脸来请你帮我或听我诉苦了。今天的事我真的很自责，请您别怪我。不管怎样你依然会是我心里最完美的老师，最敬爱的妈妈。
- i'll never be myself again -
Saturday, August 1, 2009
yo!nthh blog about .. my life is just study study study and tuition tuition tuition .. now , i dont even feel like going out with friends anymore .. i rather stay in school .. at least i feel safe there .........
share with you all a poem .. wrote it sometime back .. feel like posting it now
let the brightest sun , shine through my window glass .
using its warmest heat and brightest light , to bright up my darkness and warmth me in the night .
let it embrace me like its child , hold me close till the flame burns my flesh and soul . if it is the pain to get the warmth , i will endure for my soul is really cold .
in the darkest night flows the tears of fear , searching for the light to start my journey gear .
show me light , show me hope . whisper into my ears i'm never alone .
days have passed , years have gone . i am still on the lost route , searching for my rightful soul .
- end -
got error dont laugh okayy -.- i not pro ..
saturday , i miss my teachers alot ..
mrs hee , mdm lung , ms suganthi and ms chong of cos .
iLOVEnorthview . will life still be the same / better after i graduate? * dun think *
treasure time in northview now . i cannot rely on them too muchh .. but how ? who knows ? leave me alone ..
