i really don't know what to do .. i don't want to be in the situation like previously ..
when crying is all i do day and night .. i REALLY REALLY don't want that again ..
but i want don't want to be in that state again meaning i will lose a friend , that i love and trust so much .. but having this friend means only hurt and tears then what is the point ? questioning myself again and again . but right till today , i haven got an answer yet .. however i have already prepared for the worse when school reopen . preparing for the worse does not mean that i see things in a negative way .. i am just preparing myself for the worse , because if it really happen , i won't hurt that much .. right ? that's the least i can do for myself .. i needa be strong , only I know WHAT i WANT and WHAT i NEED .. getting back into the previous situation means alot , for my condition now .. things will really turn nasty if it get's out of hand .. i just hope that i am able to walk through it now and get a better life in the future ..
in additional i do have supports from alot of people .. i won't wanna let myself down neither do i wanna let them down .. i will definitely do my best and shine brighter than the previous time and reach my destination with fame and glory ..